The week’s top 7 most ridiculous news stories. Banning White House selfies? NOOOO!

Paula Deen shut down a restaurant and forgot to tell her employees

Paula Deen, as you may remember from when she admitted that she has used the ‘N’-word in front of her employees is in the news again. She shut down her restaurant, Uncle Bubba’s, which was the restaurant that launched her into a media frenzy last year. Last Thursday morning, employees went to work as they normally do, except they were met with locked doors. As it turns out, nobody actually knew the restaurant was closed down. Employees were seen collecting their severance checks in the parking lot. Apparently telling your employees that they don’t have a job anymore isn’t that important. via:

paula deen

The White House is trying to BAN selfies with the President after a photo President Obama took with Red Sox Player David Ortiz!

The White House is taking a stand against selfies with the President after Red Sox player David Ortiz took a photo with the President as a promotional stunt. The White House claims that the picture, much like the one taken at the Grammy’s, was directly connected to Samsung trying to promote their brand. Samsung denies the claim that this photo was staged. Thanks a lot, Samsung. via:


A 9 month old baby was charged with attempted murder!

The baby was seen crying in the courthouse after his grandfather, Muhammad Yaseen was trying to dip t he baby’s thumb into ink to put on the bail bonds, since the baby was unable to sign the document himself. ¬†According to witnesses on the seen, the baby, his uncles, and grandfather, violently attacked police officers with wooden rods and pelted them with stones. Hopefully the judge realizes that babies are adorable.¬†via:


The most Canadian police chase of all time took place as Mounties had to hitch hike on a snowmobile to catch a man stealing a John Deere tractor!

Another dangerous criminal was brought to justice on Friday, April 4, after two officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police chased him through the wilderness of Alberta. The RCMP officers were responding to a call about a few guns and other items that had been stolen. When they arrived on the scene, they were called once more about a stolen John Deere tractor.The mounties chased the thief, 25 year-old Jesse Cecka, on foot until a friendly snowmobiler offered them a ride. via:


A man let a hyena eat his genitals after a “doctor” said it would make him rich

Chamangeni Zulu, a Malawi man who is somewhere between the ages of 20 and 24, stripped naked at 4 A.M and went searching for a hyena. After he found the hyena, he allowed the beast to eat three of his toes, and his manhood. According to Chamangeni Zulu, a witch doctor told him that if he sacrificed his body parts to the beast, he would become wealthy. He may not be wealthy, but he’s no doubt going to famous after this incident. Do you think the doctor wrote him a prescription for that? via:


Two Ku Klux Klan groups are at each other’s throats after one group claimed the other wasn’t racist enough!

There’s something eerie about the fact that one racist organization is claiming that another racist organization isn’t as racist as they’re supposed to be. What a world we live in. Robert Jones, who is a member of the Loyal White Knights, claims that the Traditionalist American Knights are great big phonies. In his actual words, he said that the leader of the Traditionalist American Knights “Frank Ancona is also Jewish and his wife is Jewish and he’s being exposed through the Klan world as a fake and he ain’t even white…” Frank Ancona, on the other hand, insists that he is, in fact, white and isn’t Jewish. He claimed that “Robert Jones and his gang of racists are a bunch of “drunks and druggies.” via:

Canidates wishing to become initiated into the Ku Klos Knights o

A Massachusetts home intruder turns out to actually be a Duck

On April 6, 2014, a police in Massachusetts quickly responded to a woman who called 911 after she heard loud banging noises downstairs. She feared that an intruder had broken into her home, and was going to cause her bodily harm. The police arrived on scene but found no evidence of forced entry. Instead, they found a duck, who appeared to have entered the home after it fell down the woman’s chimney. The duck was caught, and released into a nearby pond. via:


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