Don’t let the grim reaper know that you’re going out for a jog. Ever!
NYPD escorting a raccoon out of a beauty salon…
This doesn’t make any goddamn sense.
Took my kid to Disney yesterday for the first time.
Playing peek-a-boo with Captain Hook
My ribeye looks like the Millennium Falcon
Asked what my wife was laughing so hard at…
Even jaws has a pain threshold
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